Fear of Dependence

Being independent is a great quality. To be able to take care of yourself without needing outside help is admirable.

But sometimes, our independence can go too far. We shut out any assistance that others can provide us, and I think it’s out of this fear we have of being anything but independent.

We’re afraid that if we have to depend on somebody, they might let us down, or we’ll have to admit that we need help, and that our attempts at absolute independence are ultimately futile.

But the thing is, we do need help from time to time, and constantly refusing it will not only leave us wrapped up in our own worlds, it’ll deny us access to others’ talents, gifts, and advice. Deeper than that, it’ll leave us afraid and alone.

Yes, it does feel vulnerable to have to depend on something or someone outside of your control. Because again, they may let you down.

But getting let down is a part of life. One way or another, it’s gonna happen.

So maybe take control of who you trust enough, love enough, depend on enough, to be okay with them when they end up letting you down at some point, because they, too, are only human.

I’ll end with a quote from one of my favorite books from high school:

You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.

– Augustus Waters, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

If you don’t choose, if you constantly try to avoid the hurt, you’re only setting yourself up to be surprised when you do eventually end up getting hurt.

Choose people in this world that you trust and love, and please start asking for help already.