Stop With The “Starting Over”

Now that ________ is done, I’m gonna start over.

Turn a new leaf.

Hey, meet the new me!

How long does this last? A week? A day?

We spend too much time telling, and not enough time showing. Telling ourselves these platitudes and making these empty promises, but never showing the commitment or discipline to actually live them out.

Treat your life like a silent movie with no title cards.

Without words to communicate what you’re doing, you have to do things to communicate to us. If you want to show us you’ve worked on your health and fitness, you can’t tell us, “I’m gonna eat better and exercise regularly,” you have to physically pick the better foods, and show us you’re exercising. If you want to show us you’ve decided you’re gonna start that business, you can’t tell us, “I’m gonna start that business,” you have to show us the work you’re doing, the people you’re talking to, the buying of supplies and being handed real money.

Too often we say we’re “starting over” because saying it gives us enough of a dopamine rush that our brains can’t tell the difference between actually doing something new, and feeling like we’re doing something new.

“Starting over” is flawed, also, because you’re not actually starting over. You’re just continuing in the greater journey that’s been going on your whole life…where you’ve been does impact where you are and where you’re going next. Don’t try to pretend the past didn’t happen. Accept it, and keep moving forward, continually doing a bit better, a little at a time.

And if you want to make a radical change, do it.

Stop talking about it. Because talking about it could feel like enough, like a first step in itself, and then you don’t feel like doing the real work.

Do the work, and then look back to celebrate the wins you had along the way.

Instead of saying, “I’m starting over,” at any moment that feels like a turning point, maybe it’s time we just start saying at any moment“I’m continuing on…”

We’d be more honest if we did.